13a
Hervör: "That looks a bit bad doesn't it Ormarr. The Huns are here and they outnumber us many times. Methinks the wisest choice is to charge right at them."
Ormarr: "Wisely spoken indeed, I shall go challenge them."
Hervör: "Forth! Down fear of darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Théoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day... a red day... and the sun rises! Ride now... Ride now... Ride! Ride for ruin and the world's ending! Death!"
Ok she didn't actually say any of that, it was Theoden's speech at Pellenor Fields. But I wanted to have a small Tolkien moment in honor of the only valiant hero of this saga (Hervör the second) and by valiant I mean someone who's not a total douchemoron. Because next:
Hervör: *chops Huns*
Huns: *chop Hervör*
13b
Ormarr: "Bad news about your sister Angantýr."
Angantýr: "That's a shame and no mistake. Well, she never did show much interest to embroidery."
Angantýr: "Gizurr, go point them to Dun Heath and throw some twigs about so that the Huns know to not raid the farmers."
(IDK how that one works but apparently it was Heiðrekr's law. How the Huns are going to abide by it is anyone's guess.)
14
Now we'll have a full on war. Angantýr's side, that is the Goths, kill so many Huns that the rivers get dammed with the corpses of men and horses and there's lots of flooding and all the fields are ruined. Angantýr goes and chops Hlöðr with Tyrfingr.
Angantýr: "Aw shit, this does nothing good to my reputation. If only you'd have agreed you're a slave-born in front of all my court."
Hlöðr: *says nothing on account of being, you know, dead*
The End!
Wanted to read the whole saga? Here's chapter 1!
Afterword: This version of Hervarar saga ok Heiðreks konúngs is a combination of three existing versions of the saga, combined by Peter Tunstall. If you're interested, here's the saga; his notes on combining the different versions can be found at the bottom of the page.
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