Hervarar saga, part 4.

10a

Heiðrekr makes an oath by a fair piggy (I'm not kidding, it really is a blonde pig). According to it anyone who can duel him in riddles can walk free no matter how badly they've treated the king. There's a Gestumblindi that Heiðrekr hates, who's a Pagan and serves Oðinn.

Heiðrekr: "Hi Gestumblindi, riddle me or die. Or lose to me in riddles and die. I don't mind either way."

Gestumblindi: "You do know I'm useless with riddles right?"

Heiðrekr: "Right!" ^_^

A one-eyed stranger: "I know some good ones. Gimme your clothes and I'll take him on instead."



10b

Heiðrekr: "Ok let's hear your worst!"

Stranger: "Here goes! I was walking on a road and a road went underneath it and over my head and on my both sides, what's that?"

Heiðrekr: "Ha, easy, you were on a bridge with a river underneath and birds were flying all about you, so that's your road, the road under you and the road around you."

Stranger: "Yeah I admit it was an easy one. Then what about this: I am eight-legged and four-eyed and keep my knees bent at all times, what am I?"

Heiðrekr: "Shit that's a tough one. But I'm smrt so I say it's a spider."

10c

Stranger: "Indeed you are smrt. Then what about this one: I saw a dead thing on a dead thing and a blind riding a blind all the way to the sea."

Heiðrekr: "Eeeeeasy. That's a dead snake on a dead horse on a glacier and they're all floating down the river."

Btw I'm not pulling these riddles out of my ass, they really are like that. Anyway riddling goes on and on and on until the stranger at long last is out of riddles.

Stranger: "Oh hey I got one more! What did Óðinn whisper in Baldur's ear when he lay on his funeral pyre?"

Heiðrekr: "Wha-whu-how-OH FUCK YOU well you tell me, you're about the only person who knows it!"

Next Heiðrekr shows some lack of sensibility and tries to chop Óðinn, cause of course this stranger is him. Well, chopping an effing king of Gods never goes well. Óðinn turns into a hawk, curses Heiðrekr to be killed by a slave and flies away. Meanwhile the sword Tyrfingr chops a random dude on its own.

11

A slave attack happens and that's it for Heiðrekr. Really, do not try to chop Óðinn, kids.

Tyrfingr also goes missing. Angantýr (Heiðrekr's son) goes after it and finds a random group of men wielding it about, using it to gut fish.

Angantýr: *chops some slave*

Btw remember that Sifka? Heiðrekr once boinked her preg, and the name of their kid is Hlöðr. he's still living at Humli, his grandpa.

Hlöðr: "So yeah Angantýr, I'm older than you so how about you give me the throne."

Angantýr: "Lol sry I don't listen to the slave-born."

12

Humli: "He called you what. Well then shit is on!"

Oh hey have I mentioned Humli is the king of the Huns? Yeah this will NOT be pretty, wow Angantýr you've just proven yourself to be as diplomatically challenged as every single forebear of yours.




Part 5.