Grettis saga, part 15

71

Farmers: "Hey you random dude there! We want our sheep back!"

Grettir: "Sucks to be you."



72a

(This chapter's longer than a very long thing so I'm chopping it in two.)

Grettir: "I'm going to disguise myself and go see what's going on at the þing."

Illugi: "You're the size of a troll though."

Grettir: "Oh shush."

At the þing everything's fun and the weather's awesome so the men there decide to wrestle a bit. Just so you know they're doing play-wrestling, not real glíma; the difference is that the wrestlers aren't trying to slam their opponent onto a pointed rock and kill him or break his back. Nope. In play-wrestle you're just supposed to injure him without that stone.

I didn't just pull that out of my ass, go read the law book Grágás.

ANYWAY those Þorbjörn fish hook and Hjalti that I mentioned are real good at this sport. So good that soon there's no one left to wrestle but hey who's that dude sitting there, size of a troll and with a hood over his face?

Grettir: "Who me? Oh. ...Gestur! Yeah I'm Gestur."

Þorbjörn fish hook: "Yeah you. WRESTLE ME".

Grettir: "Uh ok but you all have to promise me you won't attack me otherwise here at the þing if I agree to wrestle."

Everyone: "Yeah sure that's a promise!"

72b

There's a guy called Hafur who makes a long oath about how no one ever is going to deliberately harm Grettir/Gestur more than the sport of glíma has it. Apparently men from "as wide as Christians go to church, the falcon flies on a spring day with wind under both wings and Finns skate -"

Finns skate wide?

Making a note of this. Norwegians - mysterious, Icelanders - mysterious,
Finns - wide-skaters.

ANYWAY

Grettir: "Lemme strip now."

Everyone: "Whoah shit it's Grettir. Hafur you're a fucking moron."

Hjalti: "Well then. I guess we made a promise so..."

Þorbjörn fish hook: "mumble mumble grumble"

Wrestling ensues, Grettir beats both Hjalti and Þorbjörn fish hook and then he goes back to Drangey.

Farmers: "Hjalti and Þorbjörn fish hook, buy our shares of Drangey, this deal comes with getting rid of the troll that's sitting there atm."

Hjalti: "Uh no."

Þorbjörn fish hook: "Sure thang!"

73

This Drangey is shaped so that you'll need a ladder to climb up on it, this is why it's such an awesome hiding place btw.

Þorbjörn fish hook: "Hey Grettir and friends up there! Leave this island plz it now belongs to me!"

Grettir: "Over my dead body."

Þorbjörn fish hook: "Well I won't mind."

74

Þorbjörn: "Whoops I let the fire go out."

Grettir: "I'll swim to the mainland to fetch some more shall I. I might also want to kill you a little bit."

75

Grettir swims for some hours, btw Drangey is quite far from the mainland so he's dead tired by the time he gets there. He finds a suitable hot spring and lies there for a bit to warm himself up, then wanders over to a nearby house and falls asleep. Somehow his clothes all fall off him during the night idk how this is how the saga says it happened. Enter two women, a handmaiden and the owner's daughter.

Handmaiden: "Whoah isn't that a naked Grettir? Quite a small peen for such a huge man lol."

Grettir: "That can be fixed!"

Another type of wrestling ensues, the handmaiden is impressed.

Grettir gets fire and a boat trip back to Drangey from the owner of the place, and people are like wtf that monster swam ashore from Drangey, why aren't Hjalti and Þorbjörn fish hook doing anything about this.



Part 16.