Hervarar saga, part 2.

5a

Meanwhile that lady that Angantýr married pops out a baby girl. Baby girl is called Hervör and turns out to be a bit of a handful.

Hervör: *fights people*

Bjarmar (her grandpa): "Stop that."

Hervör: "I DO WHAT I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT"

Hervör: *runs into forest and starts killing people for their money*

Bjarmar: "I said stop that!"

Hervör: "Suuuure. Let me take my anger out on your thralls instead."

Thralls: "A bitch like you was prolly not made by Angantýr cause we all know what a kind and gentle berserker he was."



5b

Hervör is a bit WAT at people telling her she's a bastard, although the way she treats everyone would suggest she better get used to it.

Anyway, Hervör decides that the most logical course of action is to dress up as a man and to sail to Samsey where her dad and his brothers are buried.

Crew: "That island's full of zombies you freak."

A shepherd: "This island's full of zombies you freak."

Hervör: "Where, exactly, would I find me some zombies?"

A shepherd: "Try those flaming mounds over there."

Hervör: *walks through fire for the lols*

5c

Hervör: "HELLO DAD I AM HERE"

Angantýr: "The fuck are you doing necromancing people up are you insane."

Hervör: "Yeah whatevs I want your sword."

Angantýr: "You mean the one that's going to kill my whole family line huh. BAD IDEA."

Hervör: "I could make you give it to me."

Angantýr: "We're all zombies, are you ins- no wait I already asked that."

Angantýr: "FINE. Have it. But don't come crying to me when it kills your son."

So Hervör gets the sword Tyrfingr. Sadly all her zombie wrestling has caused such huge fires and thunder about the island that her whole crew has pretty much shat themselves and legged it as fast as possible. Oh well, she's dressed up as a guy anyway so she just calls herself Hervarðr and hitchhikes a ride on a passing ship.

6a

Guðmundr is a half giant.

Guðmundr: "I have a chess problem."

Hervör/Hervarðr: "Lemme see..."

Random man: *picks up Tyrfingr and unsheathes it*

Hervör/Hervarðr: *chop*

After this she goes about fighting everything she can find until suddenly! Hervör hears the call of her embroidery stand! Hervör returns home!

Never underestimate the power of an embroidery stand.

6b

Höfundr: "Hay I hear there's a babesome Hervör here I'd like to marry."

Bjarmar: "Are you ins- no wait sure you can have her take her away thank you plz."

Hervör: *pops out baby Angantýr and baby Heiðrekr*

Angantýr's an ok lad but Heiðrekr is just like his mum, meaning he's a total bitch. His dad hosts a party and tells him to stay away but of course he won't - he comes over and tries to pick fights left and right but Angantýr always gets in the way. Then he leaves but, as a way of saying goodbye he chucks a large rock at a random person.

Big mistake. Random person dies. Random person was his brother Angantýr.

Höfundr: "You - did - what - how about you piss off now and never return?"

Hervör: "Aw come oooon."

Höfundr: "Ok I'll give him some advice. Heiðrekr, you should never hang out with people who have betrayed their bosses or friends, don't let your wife visit her family, when you go boink other girls don't stay out late, don't ride your best horse if you're in a hurry and never foster a better man's son."

Well yeah he does sound a bit insane. What were you expecting, he wanted to marry a serial homicide case that wrestles zombies and is an embroidery maniac.

Anyway Heiðrekr gets the sword Tyrfingr now. It's a good idea to give it to the very person it's going to kill right.



Part 3.