Egils saga, part 1.

1

There's a guy called Úlfur. He's really angry in the evenings and goes to bed early so he's called Kveld-Úlfur, and it's hinted that he's a bit of an ugly.

Well, it's said that of his two sons Þórólfur is a real eyecandy but Grímur is ugly as fuk just like his dad, but while Þórólfur goes out raiding places, Grímur stays home and is a master blacksmith.



2

A dude in Þórólfur's troupe gets lovesick for a Sólveig that he cannot have and stops raiding. Funny that. The usual saga hero response would have been to raid double to prove one's worth as a husband candidate.

Btw don't take courting tips from sagas I assure you it's a bad idea.

3

There's a king with messy hair. We hear he's called Haraldur Tangles or something. Anyway this Haraldur's vowed to not comb his hair before he's taken over the whole Norway so he's attacking people left and right, apparently the thought of regaining his comb really drove him idk.

So he attacks a Sölvi who pulls in king Arnviður who pulls in king Auðbjörn who sends a war message around to gather troops from his lands.

Kveld-Úlfur: "Have fun dying you lot, go tell your king I'm not planning to budge from my farm."

4

The war goes well for Haraldur Tangles. Meanwhile that lovesick dude of chapter 2 gets attacked and has to flee his home so he goes and becomes a skald for Haraldur. His name is Ölvir hnúfa, keep him in mind.

Also meanwhile: Kveld-Úlfur's long time friend and his father-in-law Kári goes and joins king Haraldur too.

This Haraldur is a tough king. If he suspects someone of being against him he either makes them his liege, sends them abroad or gets rid of them in a more, eh, permanent way. This annoys some people so much that they sail over the Atlantic and found Iceland. So now you know that Icelanders are originated in annoyed Norwegians (and their Celtic slave girls).

We assume that by now king Haraldur's finally combed his hair. Or maybe not, there's still one war to come, sorry about the spoiler.

5

Haraldur: "So what you're now telling me is that this Kveld-Úlfur isn't happy to serve me either?! WTF does that old fart want anyway?!!"

Ölvir Hnúfa: *brushie brushie brushie* Shhhhh, Haraldur, shhhhhhh... *brushie brushie brushie*

Ölvir Hnúfa: "Ok Kveld-Úlfur don't be a moron now, that Haraldur was so serious about crushing his opposition he let his hair get tangled so you know he's serious.

Kveld-Úlfur: "Hnnnggg. Well ok then I'll send him Þórólfur but mind you I'm not happy."

Ölvir Hnúfa: "It's ok YOUR happiness is not the main issue now."



Part 2.