Hervarar saga, part 3.

6c

Heiðrekr meets some tied up men that have betrayed their bosses and friends. To show just how much he pays attention to well-meaning advice he promptly saves their butts.

Heiðrekr then friends king Haraldr who's an ok king but weak.

Haraldr: "Sucks that I have to pay a bobload of money to these other earls."

Heiðrekr: "Lemme handle this."

Heiðrekr: *chopchopchopchop - you know the deal*

Heiðrekr: "Problem solved! I can has your daughter Helga yes?"

Then there's a baby and his name will be... hmmm... Angantýr! Yeah that's original.



7

A famine happens! Somehow it can only be cured by sacrificing the most noble son of the whole country!

Haraldr: "That must mean your son, Heiðrekr."

Heiðrekr: "No, your son!"

Haraldr: "I know just the man to solve this problem, don't know if you've heard of him but his name is Höfundr and -"

Heiðrekr: "O fuk."

Long story short Höfundr indeed chooses Heiðrekr's son to be the noblest (sounds almost like he has an ax to grind). Heiðrekr attacks Haraldr instead and chops him because he's a weakling. Helga gets so angry she hangs herself.

Seriously, even Hervör's approach to anger was more practical.

Then Heiðrekr boinks a Sifka until she's preg and then sends her back home to her dad Humli.

8

So Heiðrekr gets a new wifey, hopefully one with less anger issues. Then he ignores his father's second advice and allows her to visit her family. Big mistake!

One summer the wife is visiting home and Heiðrekr follows. OMG there's another man in bed with her! Heiðrekr secretly cuts some hair off him and takes his son away and announces the next day that he's come to pay a visit too.

Wifey logically tells him the son is dead (wtf?) and shows him a dog wrapped in cloth like, yeah that's his body right there. Some ugly kid this newest Angantýr must be if she thought a dog will suffice.

Anyway a half-bald dude is found and a divorce ensues.

Next Heiðrekr decides to deliberately do against every advice he got from his dad. Cause you know, it's worked so well thus far! Heiðrekr fosters a king's son.

9a

Enter Sifka again!

Heiðrekr: "Ok foster son go hide in that barn and have this gold ring with you. You're not allowed back until I say so."

Sifka: "Why the long face, darling?"

Heiðrekr: "Well it's just that... I was gonna cut an apple for my foster son WITH MY SWORD but I forgot it had a curse on it and that it kills a person every time it's drawn. So I sort of cut the boy instead."

Sifka: "Hay king, Heiðrekr says he killed your son."

9b

So now Heiðrekr is to be put to death but no one wants to lay a hand on him. Curiously it's not because he's carrying a cursed sword that's so poisonous a scratch can kill you. Nooooo, the people actually like him, which must be a novel feeling for Heiðrekr.

Anyway eventually two men put shackles on him - they're the same boss and friend betrayers he saved earlier on. GG Heiðrekr.

Heiðrekr: *summons foster son*

Foster son: "Yo."

9c

King: "Aw fuk sorry about the shackles and the death penalty, here lemme bribe you a lot. Also have my daughter."

Heiðrekr: "Cool!"

Heiðrekr: *chucks Sifka into a river*

Heiðrekr: "When's the wedding!"

Next there's a baby girl again and the name shall be... dun dun duuuunnnnn...
HERVÖR!



Part 4.