Brennu-Njáls saga, part 18. Final part!

153.

Flosi: "Ok so we're banished and all, I get it. I just hope we hadn't been washed ashore on the island where the Njálssons used to work at..."

Earl Sigurður: "Hey you heard about my former bodyguard Helgi how's he doing?"

Flosi: "Not so good since I chopped his head off."

Earl Sigurður: "WAT"

Þorsteinn: "Look it's ok I'll give you all my money if you let him go please please my sister's married to this Flosi guy and she'll have my guts for garters if-"

Earl Sigurður: "I see. Well, Flosi, consider yourself hired as my bodyguard."



154.

Kormlöð's quite a babe. She hates Brjánn. Brjánn is pronounced a little bit like Brian and because I love Monty Python I'll call him Brian from now on.  Anyway this king Brian has a long patience. Sigtryggur is Kormlöð's son and wants to kill Brian, so he meets up with earl Gilli and together they go meet earl Sigurður. Kári ended up on the island too so naturally he also pops by.

155.

Sigtryggur: "Oh does anyone here know about the burning of them Njáls?"

Gunnar (not the awesome Gunnar though, sry but he's dead): "Lol we totally made Skarphéðinn cry."

Kári: "RRRAAAAARRRRGHHH!" *sings a song* "RRRAAAAARRRRGHHH!" *chop*

But it's ok, this just means you no longer have to worry about mixing up the Gunnars, this one's dead too now.

Sigurður: "Chop that Kári."

Flosi: "Nah don't chop."

Sigurður: "Oh ok."

Then the earls etc. continue plotting for Brian's head.

Kormlöð: "Cool that you have a massive armed force gathered but get these two random dudes too.

156.

Bróðir: "I would NOT have agreed to come help this Kormlöð if I had known I'd be dunked in a supernatural rain of boiling blood, another supernatural attack of our own fucking weapons and then a bunch of rabid ravens!"

Óspakur: "It's just a typical sign that your war's going to end badly."

157.

There's war against king Brian and then there's Woof of War and I'm not kidding. Flosi decides to f all that and goes on a pilgrimage.

158.

Kári: "I still want to chop some Flosi."

Flosi: "Do what you want I'm totally going to Rome."

159.

Kári sails his ship to splinters and decides to "go test Flosi's manhood". Flosi proofs it by kissing him and then there's a party. Because Kári's wife really handily just died in Iceland, Flosi wants to marry Kári with Hildigunnur the grim. Yes, this Hildigunnur. The same one who mopped up her dead husband's blood and innards in a cape and then threw it all over Flosi because he was generally being a whiny, unresponsive arse. While I'm not surprised that Flosi would suggest someone take this female off his shoulders the fact that Kári readily agrees is perhaps the biggest sign of his heroic nature ever.

Anyway, no more blood feud, which is good because we would have been quickly running out of Icelanders.

The end!



Whoops did you want to read the whole saga? Part 1 is here and each chapter links to the next one. Have fun!