Laxdæla saga, part 1.

The coin has spoken! Next to be re-written is Laxdæla saga. Strap yourselves in, there might be some familiar people in this story.

1.

Let's start with the family trees then -

- sigh -

Ketill Flatnose has five children. Two sons: Björn the Eastman and Helgi WhosenicknameIcannottranslatesry, and three daughters: Þórunn Horned, Unnur Deepminded and Jórunn Smartasaman. Keep this Unnur in mind.



2.

Ketill Flatnose: "King Harald Fairhair wants us dead."

Björn: "Why are we not running away already?"

At this there was made a good cheer, and they all thought it was spoken bravely. Björn and Helgi want to go to Iceland and Ketill to Scotland.

3.

Ketill marries Þórunn Horned to Helgi the Lean and then sails to Scotland with the remaining family, whereas Helgi Whatshisname, Helgi the Lean and Björn go to Iceland which at this point was just a random island with few people living on it so you can't blame Ketill for feeling a bit too old for that kind of shit.

Björn tosses his chair off the longboat and decides to build his farm where it washes ashore, idk Norwegians can be a bit mysterious.

4.

Ketill arrives to Scotland and settles there, except that Unnur's son Þorsteinn the Red begins to hack at the locals until they give him half of Scotland. Feeling accomplished Þorsteinn is like, "cool now let's be friends!" and the Scots cheerfully cut him to pieces (but in all friendship of course).

Unnur: "O... k... my son and father are now both dead and I'm left in the middle of a warzone with a huge fortune, this is not scary in the least."

So she has a ship built for her in secret and packs her goods in it, plus family and friends, and everyone else is like HOW DID YOU EVER THINK UP THIS PLAN OMG YOU SO SMRT. She sails to Orkneys and arranges the marriage of her granddaughter Gró there and then continues to Faroe Islands and marries off another granddaughter, Ólöf, there.

5.

Now Unnur packs the rest of the grandchildren on a boat and continues to Iceland where she promptly crashes her boat on some rocks. Miraculously no one is harmed and all her goods stay intact.

Helgi the Whatshisname: "You can stay at my place with... err... ten of your followers."

Unnur: *flounceout*

Björn the Eastman: "You can stay at my place with the whole troop if you wanna."

Unnur: "Awesome, entertain me."

Now comes the part where you know for sure this Unnur is pretty hardcore. Most of the Icelandic heroes get places named after the brave deed they did there, like, at least spear two Norwegians if you want to get to name some place. But Unnur gets places named after where she stopped to eat - Lunchnes or something - and another place became Combnes because she lost a comb there. Then she does the Norwegian thing and tosses her chair off board, sails after it and builds a farm where it washes onshore.

Oh, I almost forgot! Unnur marries off yet another granddaughter, Þorgerður, to a man called Kollur, or Dala-Kollur. They are the parents of Höskuldur.



Part 2.