12/18/12

Brennu-Njáls saga, part 17.

Before I even start on this one I will ask you all to fasten your seatbelts and keep your limbs inside the car during the ride. No weapons are allowed, this is Alþingi. I repeat, no weapARGL





144.

Þórhallur gets the bad news and reacts like any typical human being would, by driving his spear all through his foot. No worries kids, he just wanted to lance a boil, Icelanders are very thorough about these matters after all. Then he runs to the Þing and kills the first man about Flósi's tent.

Kári: "Ásgrímur, your son's spearing people at the parliament."

Ásgrímur: "It's called politics."

War happens. Turns out that when you tell Icelanders to not bring their weapons they bring them anyway. Lots of people die and we can safely assume Kári sparkles with the force of ten thousand suns and more or less blinds his enemies. Eventually Flosi and his troops run for it.

Snorri: "The where you guys going?"

Flosi: "Why can't we get to the river?!"

Snorri: "That would be because there's now a large armed force between it and you, no?"

More war.

Þórgeir: "Hey Kári I think you know that lawyer guy over there with the huge band of bribery gold about his arm, Eyjólfur I think is his name."

Kári: *MAGICAL MAGNIFICENT ACCURATE SPEAR TOSS BULLS EYE*

Eyjólfur: "Argl."

More war. Then we have more politics, some singing by Kári the ever so sparkly, and eventually the whole parliament agrees that since Kári & friends pleaded their cause so powerfully (IOW killed whoploads of men) they'll pick up the case and forget that Eyjólfur already destroyed it once. Njáll and his family's price are determined and paid for, Kári does not get a penny for his son. Flosi and the other burners are banished from the land.

146.

Þórgeir and Kári chase Sigfús' sons across the land. Kári's sparkle does somehow not hinder this. Þórgeir kills one man with OGRESS OF WAR and Kári kills a huge group all at once because Kári is the Superman and almost as cool as Gunnar. The rest run away.

Meanwhile Flosi chats with people and gets told by Hallur af Síðu to man up because at least he has the chance to pay his way out of the mess.

147.

Hallur goes and kisses Kári and Þórgeir. Next morning Hallur raises the question of the atonement with Thorgeir, and tells him what terms he's been offered; and he speaks about them with many fair and kindly words.

Hallur: "So take the atonement, we've all had enough of your little civil war."

Þórgeir: "F U."

Hallur: "Take it."

Þórgeir: "F U."

Kári: "No really, take the bloody money!"

Þórgeir: "F U 2."

Anyway he takes the money. Then the two give Hallur some nice jewellery for his trouble.

148.

Kári: "Hey Björn, may I live at your place for a while? It's going to be a secret to all so shhh."

Björn: "I'm awesome in every regard, is that what you're saying? Welcome!"

Valgerður (Björn's wife): *eye roll*

149.

Flosi buys a ship. The rest of the Sigfússons are relaxed because they don't know Kári is hiding nearby.

Flosi: "Guys you know that Kári's never where you expect him to be. For example we believed he was in a burning house and somehow he wasn't, in the end. Anyway he's a superhero."

Sigfússons: "Lol shut it."

The sons then meet with Björn who lies to them about Kári's whereabouts and then he goes home and tells Kári where his enemies are. DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN

150.

Valgerður: "Björn, if you ever betray Kári ah! so handsome! so sparkly! so wonderful! you'll never get to sleep with me again."

Björn and Kári ambush the Sigfússons. Kári chops so many men again that it's amazing and despite all the earlier warnings Björn actually does not run away or betray him. Somehow some of the Sigfússons troupe still manage to get away.

151.

Kári and Björn ambush again. Except that Kári takes a nap. Then he kills everyone except for Ketill.

Flosi: "I'm Kári's fanboy now."

152.

Björn: "Um, would you put a good word for me for the wifey? She'll never believe a word I say but..."

Valgerður: "Yes OMG Kári speak to me!"

Kári: "Ok. Valgerður, your Björn wasn't an absolute coward."

Kári drops Björn off at Þórgeir's so that he can look after him.



Part 18.

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