Brennu-Njáls saga, part 16.

137.

Brothers Þorgeir, Þorleifur and Þorgrímur have very unimaginative parents when it comes to naming children.


138.

Eyjólfur is a mightly lawyer, sharp-dressed and greedy for money which just shows lawyers have always been the same everywhere.

Bjarni: "He's the best choice, but you'll need to pay him bucketloads you know. He's also good-looking and good pedigree and makes men swoon to the ground wherever he goes."

Flosi: "No prob, I already bought everyone else as well."

Eyjólfur: "This discussion pleases me greatly."

Flosi: "So you'll defend me in court even though my case is clearly faulty?"

Eyjólfur: "What, no! Oh so that's why you went on flattering me so much! But hear me now, I would never sell my honour for a -ny... wait are you handing me a ring of gold? Well then I'm with you!"

139.

Skafti: "So sorry Gissur, Kári etc. but I for one am not unhappy to see the trollface gone so get your help elsewhere."

Snorri: "Well, Ásgrim, Gissur etc. seeing how you all are bloody useless with strategy and wit anyway I'll volunteer to help. Remember to un-sparkle that Kári lad if you plan an ambush btw."

140.

Guðmundur: "Shit guys, last time when you came over asking for help I had NO idea things would end so badly because usually two large armed forces poised against each other aren't an ominous sight at all. I'll help you this time, oh, and Skafti's son will help you too because my daughter Jódísi is his wife and if it's either going against her or going into a bloody war he'll know which one to choose!"

141.

Mörður makes a long speech at the court, accusing Flosi of killing Helgi, and afterwards everyone tells him he spoke really well so he repeats his speech word to word. Then Þorgeir makes a speech against Glúmur for burning Njáll and his family inside their house but no one remarks this speech anything special so he doesn't repeat it. And then everyone on their side pretty much makes a bid case against the other side.

Eyjólfur: "No defense for you Flosi, sry. But we can still trick them into applying for the wrong court if we act sneakily.

142.

Mörður: "Blaa blaa blaa blaa etc."

Eyjólfur: "Guess what, I just toppled your case apart - BOOT TO THE HEAD!"

Mörður: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

Þórhallur: "Nah, just throw it right back it's ok."

Eyjólfur: "Pffft think that was enough? I'm a lawyer, I'm used to getting a boot to the head! Here, have another BOOT TO THE HEAD."

Mörður: "NO U."

Eyjólfur: "NO U."

Mörður: "Well how about I put a rock in it this time? Ha, knew it'd turn you right around!"

143.

Eyjólfur: "Ok, but you know we changed priest positions in the sly so now you've pleaded the whole case to a wrong court, and this is plain trickery like everything else I've done so far but the great thing is, it's totally legal." :D



Part 17.