12/31/12

Laxdæla saga, part 4.

16.

Vigdís: "I'll so divorce that Þórður. Thanks for the help Ásgautur slave, I'll free you for that. Here's some money and you can also tell me what you wish to have more than anything and you'll have it."

Ásgautur: "Anything? I wanna leave Iceland, this place sucks!"

The people of Hvamm give Þórður trouble after the divorce and he goes to Höskuldur and is like, I'll foster that slave-born Ólafur of yours if you help me out and leave him everything I own when I die. Melkorka's like, shit no, but Höskuldur's like, sure thing ok.



17.

Víga-Hrappur still has no friends and then he dies. His last command is that he be buried in the doorway of his own house and his wife agrees. Big mistake. Víga-Hrappur zombiefies! Víga-Hrappur kills all his servants! Víga-Hrappur scares his wife so badly that she flees the whole area! In short, even in death no one likes Víga-Hrappur.

(And then Höskuldur comes over and shows Icelandic zombie defense skills by dumping him elsewhere.)

18.

There are these brothers Bork and Þorgrímur who are so awesome that their relative Þorsteinn decides to move to Víga-Hrappur's now-empty house just to get out of their way. Except that he drowns on the way there.

One man on his longboat survives and then he meets Þorkell and they do some morbid rearranging of the order in which the people on the ship drowned so that Guðríður, Þorsteinn's daughter, gets to inherit everything. Þorkell's her husband, that's why.

However, the survivor had told the story a bit differently before so now Þorkell has to prove himself by walking under a turf arc and if it falls on him he's a liar, idk why Icelanders are mysterious (don't forget they came from Norway originally and Norwegians are equally mysterious with throwing chairs overboard). He arranges things so that a couple of men ACCIDENTALLY fall on the turf arc and then everyone's like, fuk no we don't want to cut up another one, you would have got it done if those two idiots hadn't ACCIDENTALLY messed things up.

19.

Hrútur comes to Iceland after having had a great time in Norway and boinking the king's mother. His brother Höskuldur's not happy about giving him half of everything he owns so Hrútur steals some of his cattle and kills some of his servants, cutting the survivors up as well. Then Jórunn's like Höskuldur come on he's tsundere too and actually just wants to be your friend, and there is a group hug and everyone's happy. Except not Hrútur because he's now married to a woman who wants to sleep with him and he cannot because of reasons.



Part 5.

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