Brennu-Njáls saga, part 12.

113.

The pedigree of Guðmundur the powerful: lots of bignames and a Kettle (kids, this is why it's a bad idea to translitterate Icelandic names).

114.

Snorri likes his friends and hates his enemies.

115.

Flosi: "It was so unfair that they killed Höskuldur."

Runólfur: "Too true."

116.

Flosi: "The chair is too high and the towel too dirty so I'll repay your hospitality by kicking the chair and tearing your tablecloth for towel instead. Shit, woman, what you want now?"

Hildigunnur: "Avenge my husband?"

Flosi: "Don't feel like it sry."

Hildigunnur: "Bitch you push me!"

And then if you wondered why Hildigunnur's called grim, here's how: when she found Höskuldur dead she took his cloak and wrapped all the loose bits of him in it and oh, it's got loads of blood soaked up too. So she gets it and throws it over Flosi who pretty much shits himself.

But face it, you would too.

117.

Flosi: "I think I'll have chop Njálssons."

Ketill: "The English call me "kettle" for some reason but I'll help you! What're you going to do about it?"

Flosi: "I'll marry my nephew to Mörður's daughter!"

Mörður: "...right."

118.

Everyone's getting ready to go to Thing and making sure they have all their friends on their sides and everyone's making wows til death, so none of this bodes ill at all.

Njálssons: "LOL Þórhallur's wearing women's clothing!"

Þórhallur: "...oh you think you're all sooooooo special don't you mutter mutter..."

119.

Ásgrímur: "Right, better gather up our forces now. Gissur?"

Gissur: "Count me in!"

Ásgrímur: "Skafti?"

Skafti: "No. And who's the troll-face?"

Skarphéðinn: "Who me?"

Ásgrímur: "Snorri?"

Snorri: "Nah. But I won't help the others either. Btw who's the bucktooth?"

Skarphéðinn: "Who me?"

Ásgrímur: "Hafur?"

Hafur: "FUCK OFF - lol who's the paleface?"

Skarphéðinn: "Who me?"

Ásgrímur: "Gudmunður?"

Guðmundur: "I'll stay neutral thanks. Shit that one dude's face is going to give me nightmares!"

Skarphéðinn:  T ^ T

Ásgrímur: "Þorkell?"

Þorkell: "I once killed a Finn and another time a dragon, and tell you what, I had a good long struggle with the hideous forest beast! Would rather take on another dragon to be honest."

120.

Ásgrímur: "...yeah. We heard. You got the whole thing carved on your bedpost and all."

Þorkell: "Who is that big and ugly fellow, before whom four men go, pale-faced and sharp-featured, and unlucky-looking, and cross-grained?"

Skarphéðinn: "I'M SERIOUSLY GETTING FUCKING FED UP WITH THIS. How about I first introduce you to my sweet lil' babe 'Ogress of War'?"

Þorkell: "eep"

Guðmundur: "LOL that was priceless! K, I've changed my mind, I'll send my brother to help you then, dude that was just so fucking brilliant...!"



Part 13.