7/21/13

Kormáks saga, part 2.

5a

There's a Þórveig who knows magic and she has two sons, Oddur and Guðmundur who are noisy. Steingerður's dad's like boys plz chop a Kormákur. Oddur's like YEAH SURE THANG.

Steingerður's dad and Narfi put a sword and a scythe on both sides of the door. When Kormákur comes in the scythe falls and takes a chunk out of the sword's blade.

Kormákur: "The weapon that mows in the meadow
It met with the gay painted buckler la lalalalalalaaaa~"

(That's taken word by word from the English translation, I swear I'm not making this up.)



5b

Kormákur: "La laa laa where is Steingerrrðurrrr la laa..."

Steingerður: "You're a bit bork in the head but you're still cute."

Kormákur sits at Steingerður's all day singing her more songs because Kormákur.

On the way home he gets ambushed and chops both Oddur and Guðmundur.

Kormákur: "I'm not even sorry for killing your sons Þórveig but I am driving you away from this area completely." :D

Þórveig: "You won't get that Steingerður tho."

Kormákur: *promptly pisses himself*

6

There's more singing and the end result is that Kormákur gives Steingerður's dad lots of presents and he begins to like him. Engagement activate!

Except Þórveig's curse also activate!

Kormákur forgets to arrive to the wedding!

7a

There's a Bersi who gives Þórveig some land she can live on.

Narfi: "Hey that Bersi is a pretty fierce dude. Now how would we get him on our side... say, his wife died a while ago didn't she?"

Bersi: "Yeah Steingerður's pretty but am I getting killed for it?"

Narfi: "Naaaah Kormákur's not in the game anymore."

Steingerður: "I seriously don't like this."

Steingerður: "Are you even listening."

7b

Narfi: "Just thought to let you know that since you abandoned your girlfriend at the altar so to speak we married her to a Bersi."

Kormákur: "RAAAAHH"

Þorgils: "NnnnononoONONONONO SIT"

Narfi: "It wasn't my doings either, honest!" :D

8a

Þorgils: "What are you up to now with all those weapons and stuff."

Kormákur: "My bride is STOLEN and I'm going to get her back!"

Þorgils: "You do know you never showed up to your own wedding, right...?"

Kormákur: "Hay Þórveig lend me your boat!"

Þórveig: "You're kidding me aren't you."

8b

Bersi: "Sorry dude I know you're not happy about this but she's my wife now and that's it. I could give you my sister Helga instead?"

Þorgils: "She's not bad looking either you know."

Kormákur: "NEVERRRRRR"

9a

Kormákur: "HOW COULD YOU MARRY ANOTHER MAN YOU TREACHEROUS BITCH"

Steingerður: "Uh... you... didn't... show... up... at... our... wedding..."

Steingerður: "And it's not like anyone even asked my opinion so -"

Kormákur: "SHUT UP let's me sing you a song of how I LOVE YOU WHY U TREAT ME SO BAD"

9b

Kormákur: "...and then I challenged Bersi to a duel."

Dalla: "You did what. You do know he's better at fighting and has better weapons."

Skeggi: "Ok I'll let you borrow this magical sword. Don't touch the pouch at the hilt, wear it under your clothes until you need it because sunlight can damage the spell, don't try to draw it before the battle and when you draw it, there's a little worm that crawls out from the hilt. Treat it well and you'll win the fight for sure."

Kormákur: "K."

Kormákur: *tears the pouch off, wears the sword over his clothes and makes no attempt at shielding it from the sun, shows it to everyone and at the fighting place he harms the worm*

10

Bersi: "You're just a kid. How about instead of a duel we just fight to the first drop of blood and leave it at that."

Kormákur: "No probs (I would have won you in duel too tho muttermutter)."

Kormákur's sword: *is totally not charged up with magic anymore so of course he loses*

Kormákur: "Howww can this beeeee~ I was just unlucky, nothing wrong with my fighting skills I still would have won you in duel mutter mutter"



Part 3.

No comments:

Post a Comment