Egils saga, part 19. FINAL PART.

86

Þorsteinn: "Well then let's go get the sheep back."

Íri: "Hey lil mama lemme whisper in yo ear there's a group of men waiting to ambush you."

Þorsteinn: "SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT ÖLVALDUR WANTS ME TO POP BY HIS HOME. CHANGE OF PLANS MEN, WE TAKE A LONGER ROUTE HOME."

Steinar: "Fuck."



87

Þorsteinn goes to a Þorgeir's party but his group gets ambushed by Steinar and his men. Result: three dead house-carles and both Steinar and Þorsteinn's sons. To anyone else this would totally ruin the party but you forget that Þorsteinn has the stiffest upper lip ever.

Steinar tries to ambush him again when he leaves the party but a Lambi sees him and wrestles him instead, spooking his horse so that it runs away and sort of ruins the surprise. Lambi throws him away, runs home, slams the door on Steinar's face but at least he gets a souvenir - Steinar's sword, stuck on his front door.

Þorsteinn: "You're still not happy huh. How about this. You move even further away and calm the fuck down or I'm gathering my friends and then you'll have even less chances of happiness. Deal?"

Diplomatic.

88a

Egill becomes old, ill and blind.

Egill: *stumbles*

Random women: "HAHAA"

Egill: "I'd like to go to the þing now with you Grímur."

Grímur: "Þórdís, ask the old goony what he's up to now."

Egill: "I just want to bring two huge boxes of silver there and watch people kill each other over it."

Þórdís: "Well, that'll be a sight."

Grímur: "How about HELL NO you two?"

88b

Egill: "Well if I can't go to the þing then I'm going to have a bath. With these chests of silver, yes. Two slaves with me pls."

Next morning

Egill: "Whoooooops I seem to have left the silver and both slaves somewhere."

Egill: "Nu-uuuh just kidding. I hid the silver and killed the slaves so that their spirits are going to guard it forever."

Egill: *dies*

Well, that was anti-climatic. Btw no one ever found out where Egill hid his silver so if you're interested in becoming rich, have a go! You may even get to wrestle two zombies!

Or you can just try Egill's gold instead of silver. That's a lager.

89

Grímur becomes Christian and his wife Þórdís has Egill's body buried under the altar. Skafti the priest is a wise man so he puts the skull on the church fence because it's unusually huge, thick and has a wave-like pattern on it. He also tries to break it but the skull doesn't as much as get a decent scratch.

Btw check the symptoms and associated conditions of Paget's disease.

90

Þorsteinn lives to be an old man too. It runs in the family (as long as you stay the hell away from Norwegian kings).

Egill's familyline is called Mýramannakyn. Men of Mýrar? Men of mýri? Icelanders plz halp.

Anyway, this family is known to have mostly ugly people, except that every now and then it throws out a total babemachine like Helga the Pretty, or Kjartan Also Pretty, and let's not forget that Þorsteinn himself was quite the sexy beast.

The saga goes on to tell that this family then made gazillion babies. The end!



To read the whole saga from the beginning, chapter 1 can be found here.