Egils saga, part 17.

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Álfur: "I just saw thirty men ride into that forest to ambush you. Might be better to not walk right into it."

Egill: "Pish posh it's a road, there's travelers on roads, that's kind of what roads are for."

Egill's men: "Um, see how those footprints are going now, that sure looks like an ambush to us."

Egill: "...on a second thought let me tie a huge rock to my chest."

Ambush happens, but it happens both from behind and above - the attackers begin to throw large stones on Egill and his men. Egill can't be having with his fancy stone plating going unused in battle so he climbs up and chops everyone he sees and then throws more stones onto the ambush at the back.

The attackers try again. Ok but the same defaults are still in place (IOW Egill is present) which means they get the chop as well. Both Úlfurs argl.

Earl Arnviður: "Please have some good explanation to how only five out of thirty men returned."



77

Egill arrives at Þorfinnur's and his daughter Helga's condition has found explanations: some lad had proposed to have her as his wife but Þorfinnur said no. Then he had tried to jump Helga but she had beaten him up. As a last measure he had tried to carve her some love runes but being the hack that he is, he cut them a bit wrong and they turned to be deathly illness runes instead.

I bet he's also a Nice Guy.

The way home is uneventful which is not surprising because I bet Ármóður's never going to want to see that Egill again.

Þorsteinn: "So here's the taxes that earl Arnviður saw fit to send you, sorry that they got some blood on them from the thirty men Arnviður sent after the tax collectors."

King Hákon: "HMMM. Well, you're on ok lad after all, I guess you can't help being related to that Arinbjörn asshole, I'll forgive you for that."

King Hákon: "And now if you excuse me I have an earl to chop."

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Egill returns home and then we get a totally random side-story.

Þórður and his wife and the rest of the family get burned in their home by their own slaves. Their son Lambi wasn't home when this happened, so next there's a lot of chopping of slaves, but hey at least each of them gets a place named after them. Namely the place where they were hacked to pieces. Come on I'm sure it would warm their hearts if they knew.

Ok back to business Egill begins to arrange the marriages of his and his brother's daughters. Þórdís who's the daughter of Þórólfur is an easy one to marry off because she's pretty, could be she got her dad's looks.

79a

Then there's this kid Ólafur Peacock. You may have heard of him before.

Ólafur: "Can I have a Þorgerður."

Egill: "Sure!"

Þorgerður: "EW NO dad his mum was a slave!"

Ólafur: "Maybe but I'm also too sexy for my shirt." *hairflip**sparkle*

Þorgerður: "On a second thought ok."

79b

Of the rest of the kids Bera is also married off. Then there's the son Böðvar who's a pretty lad, but sadly he drowns in an accident.

Egill is so sad his trousers explode.

Yes that happened and it was very tragic, actually.

79c

After this he shuts himself into his sleeping chamber and begins to starve himself to death. After three days of this Ásgerður finally has enough of it and sends a man to seek someone smart to figure things out - someone smart is none other than the aforementioned Þorgerður, which just goes to show that you may be the brainiest of them all and still fall for a great piece of ass.

Ásgerður: "SO HAVE YOU EATEN YET ÞORGERÐUR"

Þorgerður: "NO AND I WON'T EAT EITHER BECAUSE I WANT TO DIE WITH MY FATHER"

Þorgerður: "So open the door and lemme in so I can starve too because I can't do it here."

Egill: "Sure."

Egill: "You're eating something though."

Þorgerður: "It's just samphire, it's supposed to help me die faster."

Egill: "Oh gimme some too."

Þorgerður: "It does make you damn thirsty though HAY YOU OUTSIDE CAN I HAVE SOMETHING TO DRINK thank you."

Þorgerður: "Want some water?"

Egill: "Sure."

Þorgerður: "Except it was actually milk."

Egill: *gets such a shock he takes a bite out of the drinking horn*

79d

Þorgerður: "That sure ruined our starving. Well, maybe it's for the best because who would have written a poem in Böðvar's honour if you died now, my brother Þorsteinn? You know he's got all the poetic talent of a vogon."

Then it's mentioned as an afterthought that Egill had had another son called Gunnar but that he too had died a while ago. Well, two for the price of one for the funeral poem. Poem turns out great and Egill cheers up enough to stop starving himself.

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After this Egill gets in no legal trouble (at least none are documented). He does write a poem for his friend Arinbjörn, about time too, considering how many times he had saved Egill's ass before.



Part 18.