Kormáks saga, part 1.

1

There's a guy called Kormákur but he's not actually the hero of this story. He's Haraldur Fairhair's friend and so is his son Ögmundur.

Ögmundur beats up an Ásmundur and then goes and marries a Helga who Ásmundur's had his eyes on before.

Ásmundur: "Oh no you did not. Duel it is."

Ögmundur: *chop*

Ögmundur: "Hope you didn't need those legs."



2

Haraldur dies and Eiríkur Bloodaxe takes over. Ögmundur cannot stand him and his babesome queen Gunnhildur so he goes to Iceland. Alone too, because Helga and their son both just died of something.

Ögmundur: *throws a chair overboard*

Yes they all seem to do this. Take note that if you ever see a washed up chair, chuck it right back in or you'll get a Norwegian immigrant following it right after.

A Skeggi welcomes him and gives him some land, but alas there's an unlucky sign that means the family's going to do badly at this site. Regardless Ögmundur settles there, marries a Dalla and makes babies Þorgils and Kormákur. We hear Kormákur's got black, curly hair and takes after his mum so he's big and strong and temperamental. Þorgils is merely described as "an ok lad".

3a

A Þorkell lives nearby whose daughter is Steingerður. A whale washes ashore and while the rest of the men go chop it Kormákur goes to gather sheep back from the mountains cause it's already autumn. It gets dark so he and his mates decide to stay the night at Þorkell's.

Maid: "Oooh Steingerður wanna go see our visitors?"

Steingerður: "Nah I'm very uninterested."

Steingerður: *walks to the door right away to look at them anyway*

Kormákur: "Let me sing a song about a pretty pair of feet showing from under that door mimimimiiii -"

Steingerður: "Shit fuk." *hides under the beard of a... statue? maybe?*

Kormákur: *sings more about a pretty pair of eyes he sees in the beard*

3b

Maid: "On another thought that guy was sort of meh in looks."

Steingerður: "OH HELL NO you have like, no taste, he's totally a babe! Except his hair's a mess."

Kormákur: "La la la oh pretty womann walking down the street pretty womannn who makes my hair complete -"

3c

The next morning Kormákur happens by Steingerður as she's combing her hair and she lends him the comb. Every single word someone says makes him sing odes to Steingerður who for some reason doesn't find this creepy, not even when Kormákur's company leaves and he stays behind, still singing about how he'd rather spend all his time with Steingerður.

End result: guy meets you, sings ten songs about how you're wonderful. Deal?

4

Kormákur visits Steingerður often and tries to look real pretty every time. Problem is that he's not quite her level so when Þorkell finds out what's going on he immediately gets Steingerður to move house.

Narfi: "Naaah let's just pick a fight with him, that'll teach him."

Narfi: "Now what would get him really going..."

Narfi: "!"

Narfi: "Hey Kormákur, Steingerður's cooking absolutely sucks!"

Fighting ensues. More songs also ensue because Kormákur's like that, you squeeze him a bit and songs plop out.



Part 2.