Egils saga, part 5.

21

Haraldur: "Yeah Sigtryggur and Hallvarður, that Þórólfur sure robbed you two dry that one time didn't he."

Sigtryggur + Hallvarður: "We want to go chop Þórólfur because he looted our home."

Haraldur: "As if you could do shit fuk. You might sail north but you'll come back sailing AND rowing ha ha."



22a

The brothers sail away and king Haraldur right after them. What were you expecting, he'll want to be seeing whatever goes on.

Whoops Þórólfur's watchmen are drunk. Whoops the kings warships sail all the way to his front door. Big whoops.

Sigríður: "What do you WANT man."

Haraldur: "Þórólfur to grovel in front of me of course, don't pretend you didn't know! But oh well he probably won't, he's so unreasonable and never does even the tiniest little thing I ask of him. So let's just burn him in his house instead."

22b

Þórólfur: *bursts through a wall**no literally*

Some fierce fighting ensues. Þórólfur gets really close to the king but guess what the king's actually a pretty good fighter and chops him first.

Haraldur: "Sweet, this farm belongs to me. I'm a wonderful person and such a generous soul that I'm going to allow you to bury Þórólfur."

Haraldur: "But now I'm kind of sad that he died. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIEEEE - oh, yeah."

22c

Ölvir Hnúfa + Eyvindur Lambi (brothers): "We don't want to hang out with the dudes who killed our kinsman, Haraldur, so can we go home?"

Haraldur: "NO. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO AWESOME TO YOU TWO! I'VE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING! E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! THIS IS HOW YOU PAY ME BACK MY FRIENDLINESS OMG ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES."

Ölvir Hnúfa: "Uh, is that a no?"

Haraldur: "Look, see how great I am. Eyvindur I'm giving you Sigríður for wife, the same girl that was married to Þórólfur. But understand you two that I'm just being amazingly kind to you two the situation considered. Eyvindur, you're going to Þórólfur's old farm BUT NOT TO YOUR OWN HOME. Ölvir you are going nowhere."

Eyvindur: "Um, Sigríður..."

Sigríður: "What. Again?!"

23

There's a guy called Ketill hængur who's a good friend of Þórólfur's. He doesn't take the recent tidings too well so he goes to pick a fight with Hildríður's sons. Well, Hárekur and Hrærekur both get the chop, taht's the way these stories work.

Ketill then packs all his belongings onto huge ships (look, you do NOT want to get on king Haraldur's bad side you really don't) and sails (possibly also rows) all the way to Iceland. There's already people there since some Ingólfur's gone there a couple of years earlier. He's Norwegian so he prolly did something like chucked his chair overboard and built his farm where it washed ashore.

Norwegians are mysterious.

24

Kveld-Úlfur's now bedridden and Skalla-Grímur's angry. Hmmmm.

Ölvir Hnúfa: "You really should pay them for killing Þórólfur."

Haraldur: "Oh sure, if they come here themselves and ask me to!"

Kveld-Úlfur: *not feeling up to travelling*

Skalla-Grímur: "Yeah how about no."

Ölvir Hnúfa: "Could you please not start with that."

25

Skalla-Grímur agrees to go to see king Haraldur. Except that it doesn't go that well. Number one he brings with him a group of men so huge that people take them for trolls. Number two, the king makes a new condition: he wants Skalla-Grímur to serve him. Number three, Skalla-Grímur pretty much tells him where he can stick this idea of his.

Ok bad move, Haraldur turns red. Ölvir Hnúfa quickly escorts Grímur & co out, packs them in boats and sends them off. Then - no doubt because he knows king Haraldur well - Ölvir Hnúfa hacks the king's boats to pieces.

Good timing Ölvir, king Haraldur indeed has sent his men out to kill Skalla-Grímur. Thankfully it took Haraldur some time to get over the shock of someone talking back to him so that Ölvir's mischief is managed.

Now Kveld-Úlfur and Skalla-Grímur are more or less fuked so they sell all they own, pack the rest on a ship and start planning to do what anyone would do if king Haraldur's angry - put an ocean between them and him IOW go to Iceland.



Part 5.