36
Björn and Þórólfur are sailing about Norway and going to east to ransack people's homes so all is as should be. OK ONE PROBLEM: Þórir (brother of kidnapped Þóra) is the foster father of Haraldur Hairy's favourite son Eiríkur Bloodaxe. Eiríkur sees Þórólfur's ship and begins to fancy it immediately.
Björn: "Er... Þórólfur... that's Haraldur's son right there and knowing his genes it might be a good idea to just give that ship to him."
Þórólfur: "This would be a good plan."
Eiríkur vows to become eternal friend of Þórólfur's. Well. Well well well. Anyway they go meet his dad Haraldur, who's rather testy at Þórólfur because OMG THOSE SONS OF KVELD-ÚLFUR NEVER RESPECT ME I HAVE DONE THEM NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS AND THEY'RE UNREASONABLE OMG. Then Eiríkur Bloodaxe is like DAAAA-AAA-AAAD COME OOOONNNN HE'S NOT EVEN HIS SON BUT HIS GRANDSON and Haraldur's like ok, but I don't evereverever want to see this Þórólfur again and btw son ILU but you're an idiot.
37
Eiríkur Bloodaxe goes having wars here and there and on the way to Bjarmaland he marries this total babe Gunnhildur. Remember the name this bitch be bad news. Anyway Þórólfur and Gunnhildur have great intimacy between them the saga says, whatever that means.
Meanwhile Þóra the kidnapped dies so Björn has a perfect excuse to get a new wifey, Ólöf, and they make a baby Gunnhildur.
There's also a dude called Þorgeir Thornfoot whose sons are Haddur, Berg-Önundur and Atli. It's ok I'll remind you of who they are when they finally re-emerge in the saga.
38
Þórólfur: "I've so seen Norway now, sry to say Eiríkur I'm going home."
Eiríkur: "Aw. But take this amazing and beautiful and above all very expensive axe and give it to your dad as a gift."
Skalla-Grímur takes one look at the axe, gets two bulls, puts a stone under their necks and headchops them both. The axe goes nicely through the animals but the not the stone - its blade chips. Skalla-Grímur's like yeah thought so and puts the remains of the axe somewhere near the ceiling where it will get all smoky and filthy.
Note to self: never give Skalla-Grímur a present that cannot decapitate animals AND large stones.
Þórólfur: "So yeah I'm sailing to Norway again and I'm taking that Ásgerður to see her family."
Skalla-Grímur: "Bad idea but while you're at it why don't you return this piece of crap axe to its sender."
(Methinks Þórólfur may not be Skalla-Grímur's favourite son.)
39
A Ketill blundur arrives to Iceland, his son Geir marries Skalla-Grímur's daughter Þórunn and makes babies. Babies are called Blund-Ketill, Þorgeir blundur and Þóroddur Hrísablundur.
IDK that blundur nickname is either catchy or a genetic flaw.
40a
Egill's good friend's name is Þórður. There's some ball games going on and Egill, seven years old at this point, wants to play.
Except that he's paired with a Grímur who's better than Egill. Egill throws a tantrum and smacks him on the head with his bat like a totally not sore loser noooooo. Grímur's like wtf and gives him a bit of a whooping like he asked for.
Þórður: "It's ok Egill, I've an idea of what we could no. Here, have this axe."
Egill: "Gotcha." *chops Grímur in the brain*
Like in any sports match one fight easily spreads out and soon a game of ball has turned into a game of heads rolling around - well, it's not really that different from football now that I think of it.
Skalla-Grímur: "..."
Bera: "Son, I am proud of you! You'll be real good at chopping people when you grow up make no mistake about that!"
Egill: *makes a complicated poem about how he's going to chop a man and another one*
40b
A couple of years later Egill and Þórður are playing ball against Skalla-Grímur. It goes kind of badly after Skalla-Grímur randomly goes berserk and hulk-smashes Þórður to death. Then he grabs Egill because a hulk doth not care whom he smashes right.
Þorgerður Brák (Egill's nurse): "Come on Skalla-Grímur that one's your own son."
Skalla-Grímur: *lets Egill go*
Skalla-Grímur: "HRRRAAAAAAGGGHHH"
Skalla-Grímur: *turns to catch Brák instead*
Þorgerður Brák: "Well, shit."
Þorgerður Brák: *jumps into the sea and swims away*
Skalla-Grímur: *throws a huge rock at her and kills her*
(Btw this place is still called Brákarsund to this day.)
Egill takes her death a bit badly and goes to kill a random dude that's a really close friend of his father's. Something tells me there may be a bit of a strained relationship between this father and son by now.
40c
Ok, so going back in time a bit: the summer after this is when Þórólfur comes home with the fancy axe.
Egill: "Hay I want to go with Þórólfur when he sails out."
Skalla-Grímur: "Hm. Ask him if he'll take you then."
Þórólfur: "No way kid you're too much of a handful."
Egill: "Maybe neither of us will go."
Egill: *cuts Þórólfur's ship loose so that it floats away*
Egill: "And that was just a tastie of what I'll do if you won't take me with you."
Þórólfur: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"
Þórólfur agrees in the face of blackmail and takes Egill with him. On the way he chucks that aforementioned ruined axe overboard because he's not completely stupid.
Part 9.
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