Laxdæla saga, part 13.

61.

Þorgils: "Hi Þorsteinn. Hi Lambi. Remember how you were with the group that killed Bolli? Either help us kill Helgi or we'll kill you."

Þorsteinn: "Shit."

Lambi: "Fuck."



62.

Þorgils: "Well now, what a fancy house. Who lives here I totally don't know?"

Random man: "Helgi lives here and you'd have to be an idiot for not knowing that."

Þorgils: "Ooooooh tooootally had no idea. Is he home by the way?"

Random man: "Nope, he's at a dairy with outlaws. You seem harmless and not at all suspicious so I'll show you where that is."

63.

Shepherd: "Hey Helgi there's some random guys nearby."

Helgi. "Oh? What do they look like?"

Shepherd: "One's a toothless bald fatso."

Helgi: "Sounds like Þorgils."

Next the shepherd practically swoons over himself as he describes Bolli Bollason by the most minute detail possible and the reader begins to wonder just how long he has been drooling staring idly at him and why has that not raised anyone's suspicions. Maybe Bolli's used to doting fanboys IDK.

Anyway, Helgi pretty much guesses each person by the colour of their tunic and is a bit shit fuck about Lambi and Þorsteinn being in the group because they're related to him. Then he tells the women around to dress up as men and ride away in groups of four. Meanwhile Þorgils' group meets a random Hrappur.

64.

Þorleikur: "Nevermind those riders, they're all girls."

Þorgils: "Huh? Ok to the dairy then."

Hrappur: "Hello hello I have climbed your roof is anyone home?"

Helgi: "Just this pretty spear."

Hrappur: "Argl."

Fighting happens. Þorgils hacks Helgi about the shoulder and Helgi throws him in the leg with an ax. Eventually Bolli Bollason kills Helgi and this surprises absolutely no one.

65.

Everyone goes home, Lambi gets some telling-off for not being Myrkjartan-y enough. IDK I mean first everyone and Þorgerður are like ew slave-Melkorka's bastards and now poor Lambi gets told he's not awesome like slave-Melkorka's bastards are supposed to be. Logic?

Þorgils: "K Guðrún let's get married."

Guðrún: "No actually I'm going to marry Þorkell instead. You know, Þorkell that's now in Norway and not on this island."

Þorgils: "I'm logical just like everyone else so I just know this is all Snorri's fault."



Part 14.