Laxdæla saga, part 9.

41.

Kjartan: "I'd like to go abroad please."

King: "Only if abroad means going to Iceland and forcing people to turn Christian by sword."

Kjartan: "...or I could as well stay here I suppose."

King: "Well be like that, see if I care. I'll send Þangbrandur instead."

Þangbrandur then sails to Iceland and baptizes people left and right, no wait I meant to say kills. Except that there's a limit to how much an Icelander will let you kill him so in the end Þangbrandur has to make a speedy escape back to Norway. The king throws a hissy fit and no one can go to Iceland, except for some more missionaries that he sends there. Kjartan finds himself being held hostage.

Bolli: "So... I guess it's goodbye? Well, I'm sure you'll be thoroughly entertained by the king's sister anyways."

Kjartan: "That'snotagoodtopicrightnowshutup..."



42.

Guðrún: "So how's Kjartan?"

Bolli: "Probably boinking the king's sister as we speak."

Guðrún: "HOPE HE'S HAVING FUN I'M NOT JEALOUS."

Bolli: "Good thing that you somehow sneakily found out that HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. Marry me maybe?"

Guðrún: "NO."

43.

Ósvífur: "So that Bolli's asking your hand in marriage."

Guðrún: "Like I said, no way."

Ósvífur: "It's ok no one's asking your opinion. Now run along I have a wedding to plan."

Guðrún: "WHAT."

PLOT SPOILER: Guðrún and Bolli's marriage is unhappy. Meanwhile the king in Norway's like, Kjartan don't be mad and Kjartan's like, let me go to Iceland plz? And the king's still Kjartan ILU what about our future together and Kjartan's like but you let everyone else go and the king's like BUT YOU'RE SPESHUL.

Long story short he sails home. The king's sister gives him a pretty headdress just so everyone will know that Kjartan's Norwegian gal's no small catch either. Or we could just say she wants to rub it in Guðrún's face.

44.

Kjartan's not too happy about the news about Bolli and Guðrún's marriage. Miss minke wha- I mean Hrefna happens to see the headdress the king's sister sent and tries it on, because if you leave a woman in a room with a pretty hat that's sort of bound to happen, laws of physics you know.

Kjartan: "Ok you're sort of pretty too, how about I'll marry you instead of that Guðrún?"

Hrefna: "Er, this is sort of sudden, let me think abou-"

Kjartan: "You have three seconds."

Guðrún: "WTF Bolli you said he wouldn't come back!"

Bolli: "I did not! I just said he didn't love you and had a new girlfriend."

45.

Kjartan goes to Bolli's party, is on a bad mood and after that he goes to sit in his home quietly, like you know these Icelandic saga heroes tend to do.

Þuríður: "Come on bro stop moping. You could always just marry that Hrefna even if she isn't as babesome as Guðrún. At least Hrefna's got HUUUUUUUUGE... tracts of land."

Kjartan: "You have ably pleaded the case."



Part 10.