Grettis saga, part 4.

16

Ásmundur: "Grettir's so not my favourite son."

Þorkell: "Ok who of your family's useless at home so they could come to the Þing with me?"

Ásmundur: "Lemme get the little fucker btw good luck."

Skeggi: "I lost my lunch bag."

Grettir: "Hm, me too."

Skeggi: "Oh I found it now!"

Grettir: "WTF I want a lunch bag too! GIMME."

Skeggi: "It's mine piss off."

Grettir: *chop*

Þorkell: "Where did that Skeggi go?"

Grettir: "Beats me lol."

Then he lifts a rock and that made probably a lot of sense somehow.



17

So Grettir's outlawed for three years now and needs to disappear asap.

Ásmundur: "Plz Hafliði take Grettir on your boat."

Hafliði: "IDK I've heard he's a bit of a handful."

Ásmundur: "Naaaaaaaaaaah."

In short Grettir leaves and while many people wish him a good journey few wish for him to return in a hurry. Ásmundur won't give him any weapons but his mum slips him a sword, just in case he needs to chop something. Then Grettir gets on the boat but won't lift a finger to help anyone and instead lies around being an annoyance. Suddenly! Danger! Everyone needed in baling out water from the boat!

Grettir: "Yeah have fun with that."

Everyone else: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

Hafliði: "Ok Grettir now they all want you dead. Let's pretend you insult me so that they'll leave you for me to handle."

Grettir: "I dun wanna. I'll just kill everyone how's that."

Hafliði: "Bad idea."

Grettir: "...siiiiiiggghhhhh ok. EVERYONE HEAR ME HAFLIÐI'S A MORON."

Everyone: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

Anyway, then the leak gets worse and finally Grettir wanders over and pretty much empties the boat of water single handedly.

18

So they find land in Norway and a guy called Þorfinnur. Grettir starts mooching off of him and still doesn't work, and instead mouths people off as much as he can manage. Then he befriends an Auðunn.

Grettir: "WTF look it's a will-of-a-wisp! Everyone knows there's gold underneath them! Let's go!"

Auðunn: "No dude Þorfinnur's dad's buried there."

Grettir: "I'll get the shovels shall I."

Grettir goes down to the grave site and robs it dry of the things Þorfinnur's dad was buried with. However, the corpse does not like this and zombiefies on Grettir, who after a long while manages to cut its head off. Auðunn's legged it meanwhile so Grettir just goes back with all the treasure.

Þorfinnur: "O...k..."

19

Þorfinnur goes to a Yule party with most of the men (but not Grettir) and he has to leave his wife and daughter home because the daughter's ill. Berserks attack!

Grettir: "Hello hello hello what's this all about? Hey how about you come over to that hosue over there, no men home and lots of pretty ladies!"

Berserkers: "You do know we're here to get some revenge on that Þorfinnur guy?"

Grettir: "Oooooooooh well good timing then! Who wants the first round with the wife and daughter?"

So he shows them up to the house and is all friendly, helps them off their wet clothes and weapons and gives the whole gang of berserkers LOADS to drink. Then he shows them to another building and locks them there and they're pretty much too drunk to notice anything funny.

Grettir: *spears some berserker*

Grettir: *spears more berserker*

20

Þorfinnur: "O fuk berserkers have been here."

Þorfinnur's wife: "It's ok Grettir speared the lot of them."

Þorfinnur: "...we're not talking about the lazy Icelandic asshole here are we?"



Part 5.