Eyrbyggja saga, part 9.

40a

Ok outlawing is over after a few years and Þorleifur Kimbi goes back to Iceland. Arnbjörn and his brother Björn also show up. Arnbjörn is awesome but Björn is awesomer, everyone agrees.

There's a meeting and Björn goes there. Þuríður is there too and the two spend a long while with each other. Some remark is made on how they haven't met each other for a long time.

Some random dude gets killed, and Þuríður's son Kjartan goes and dips his little axe in the stream of blood gushing out of the dead dude. Not creepy.

Þórður: "So... did you see that Þuríður and that Kjartan?"

Björn: "Yes."

Þórður: "Looks a whole lot like you doesn't he?"

WAIT. Þuríður and Björn... check chapter 29, that's the same guy who was wooing a married woman (iow Þuríður), got attacked, outlawed, and had to leave Iceland. Yup.



40b

Þórður tries to speak reason into Björn but he's all ILU ÞURÍÐUR and does not listen. Björn continues visiting Þuríður, her hubbsie Þóroddur does not like this.

Þóroddur uses (BUY MAGIC SPELL). It's super effective. Björn is now lost in a blizzard.

Björn ends up spending three days in a cave before he can return home.

41

That same spring as Björn returns to Iceland Þorleifur kimbi sets his eye on a Helga, but her family opposes the match.

Þórður: "You'll not marry her as long as you have those porridge burns on your neck."

Þorleifur: "bitch i cut u"

Þórður: "Yeah whatever."

Þórður: *gets hit with a huge piece of turf*

Aaaannnnd after this all hell breaks loose.

42

Snorri: "Ok where are you idiots going to this early in the morning? Care to NOT start more trouble?"

Þorbrandur's sons + Þorleifur kimbi: "Shut. Up."

The group climbs Arnbjörn's house and begin unroofing it, but Arnbjörn just uses that as an opportunity to spear them through the holes. To make matters worse Björn and his friends are up already and ride to rescue.

Snorri: "What did I say to you idiots? Now GO HOME and don't you fukken dare keep on stripping the house while I'm here, I'm on your side and don't want to get in trouble."

Þorbrandur's sons have to make a retreat and the rest of the day is spent with both sides eyeing each other evilly. Then everyone goes home.

43a

Þorbrandur has a thrall called Egill. One day Egill sees a huge eagle grab a dog and fly to... dun dun duuun... Þórólfur Lame's most recent burial place. Yup the same zombie fella. Þorbrandur thinks this is kind of a bad sign.

Arnbjörn and Björn's home hosts ice hockey games. The brothers themselves are too strong so they're only allowed to play against each other.

Þorbrandur's sons: "Hay Egill, bet you'd love to be a free man right? You cooooould go to the hockey games and accidentally kill one of the brothers, Arnbjörn, Þórður or Björn. Good idea no?"

43b

Meanwhile a Freysteinn finds a severed head that sings him some songs. Keeping that recent zombie infestation in mind this is also thought of as a massively bad sign.

Egill sneaks into the hockey party but is a clumsy idiot and falls to the floor where he was planning some mishap.

Þórður: "Who's there?"

Egill: "Um, just me, was gonna kill you guys."

Egill gets the chop and now, cause he was a thrall, they need to go pay for him. No harming other men's property you know.

The Breiðvíkingurs gather up forces, including Steinþór, Styr and Vermundur.

Steinþór: "Snorri, would you settle this little thing here for us?"

Snorri: "No comment."

43c

Þórður: "What if they'll say now that I was too cowardly to bring them the money for the thrall I chopped?"

Steinþór: "Better get even more men with us so no one can say that."

44a

Meanwhile Snorri has sent a word to the Þorbrandur's sons that trouble is on its way.

Snorri: "Also everyone let that Steinþór speak, he's an ok lad. No needless fighting ok?"

Snorri: "Ok?"

Snorri: "OK?"

44b

Steinþór: "Hay. I brought a payment for your thrall that we chopped."

A handmaid: "Oooooh he's so good-looking and manly and he handed over the silver in such a manly fashion and speaks with such a lovely voice and -"

Þorleifur kimbi: "WELL FUCK THAT"

Þorbrandur's sons: *all charge at the door*

All hell breaks loose again. Þórður gets a bad cut in teh shoulder, Steinþór is hacking people more or less blindly left and right.

Snorri: "WILL YOU FUKKEN STOP WHAT DID I TELL YOU"

44c

Snorri manages to break apart the fight and makes a deal with Steinþór that no one's going to chase them, leave, now. And they do.

BUT!

Þóroddur, Snorri's 12-year old son: *bleeds heavily in the doorway*

Snorri: "Who the asshole did this then?"

Þóroddur: "...Steinþór."

Snorri: "...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

44d

Þorleifur kimbi: "Seems like even you can be a total moron sometimes."

Snorri: "Well spoken. AFTER THE FUCKERS."

Steinþór: "Hoshat. Ok we stay here on the rocks, lemme throw my spear over them for good luck."

Steinþór: *throw*

Már: "argl"

Steinþór: "Whoops."

44e

Snorri: "Well, men, that's a good reminder that the last one to run into battle isn't always safe."

Snorri: "Also Styr, hay, just thought you should know that that Steinþór just killed Þóroddur my son. Also son of your daughter. In other words he killed your g-r-a-n-d-s-o-n."

Styr: *immediately changes sides*

An Áslákur, together with an Illugi, appear in the scene and try to stop the fighting. Vermundur joins them. The plan is to make a truce, but when Snorri extends his arm Steinþór immediately tries to cut it off. Thankfully he just cuts his arm ring, who said bling wasn't functional.

Snorri: "Wasn't even a flesh wound. So, about that truce?"

A truce is then miraculously had. Well, some people say that Björn also appeared on the scene with his men and that when Snorri saw that he suddenly remembered Björn might still have an axe to grind over that Þuríður -matter and therefore was super eager about the truce.



Part 10.