Eyrbyggja saga, part 8.

34

You guessed it. Þórólfur really is asshole enough to turn into a zombie. At first's he's pretty evenly killing everything alive that happens on his path but when winter comes he begins to have parties on his former home's roof and haunts his widow in particular until she dies, most likely of a heart attack.

If that's not bad enough, the zombieing begins to spread. Whoever Þórólfur kills is soon seen walking around with him.

People: "Arnkell halp!"

Arnkell: "Ok since winter's now over, let's go take care of the old zombie. Sons of Þorbrandur come help me out pls."

Þorbrandur's sons: "Are you insane 'cause we're not. Have fun."

Þorbrandur: "STFU sons, you go help him out and it's an order."

Sons: "But daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad..."

Arnkell's plan is to dump the zombie elsewhere, but Þórólfur has other plans and at one point the oxen cannot pull his coffin any further. Arnkell's like sure have it your way, buries Þórólfur there and builds a huge wall around his grave because walk all you want old boy but now you'll do it in circles.



35

Snorri: "Nice work boys, I'll just keep cutting down this forest over here."

Arnkell: "Yeees that forest that, had my dad not RENTED it to you would now belong to me..."

Haukur (Snorri's workman): *hacks Arnkell's shield apart*

Arnkell: *chops a Haukur*

Snorri: "Nice work boys, now pay me for that workman."

Arnkell: "Haha did you miss that part where he attacked me first? No payments for you."

36

There's another Þorleifur (not Kimbi) who's been found guilty of an affair with a lady. He asks Snorri to take him in but Snorri's like nope sry and has a long talk with him. Then he asks the same of Arnkell who's like nope sry won't take in outlaws.

Arnkell puts his axe down for a moment, Þorleifur takes it and attempts to chop him in the head with it, but Arnkell hears the axe swish and throws him down.

And then axes him in the head. Of course.

After this people are like YEAH THAT SNORRI SENT HIM IT'S OBVY and Snorri's like I'VE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

37a

Snorri hosts an autumn feast and people start arguing over who's the manliest man of the area.

Þorleifur Kimbi: "Obviously Arnkell, definitely not Styr or Snorri."

Everyone: "Huh? Why?"

Þorleifur Kimbi: "Arnkell's never left any of his men die unavenged LIKE SNORRI DID TO HAUKUR."

Snorri: "You got a point there. Here's an axe for you, my best one, see that you chop Arnkell in the head with it."

Snorri: "What."

Snorri: "I thought you wanted him avenged."

Snorri: "Whut me? Well - I'll provide the back-up. Now run along chop chop."

Snorri: "Pun intended."

37b

Arnkell goes to fetch hay. This is winter already btw so everything's iced over and snowy, important fact for the future keep it in mind.

Þorbrandur's sons and Snorri sneak up on him over the ice in the fjörður.

Ófeigur (a thrall): "Um, Arnkell, there's a huge group of men running towards us. What you say we'll go home now?"

Arnkell: "Splendid idea. You go first, ask people to come help me out with the fighting while you're there."

Arnkell: "Meanwhile I shall stay here because I run for no enemy 15 times stronger than myself."

37c

Well ok, has to be said for Arnkell that he actually had a reason to trust himself. He tears a runner from his sledge and every time someone throws a spear at him he breaks it with the runner. Þorleifur Kimbi tries to get to a hacking distance but Arnkell throws him unceremoniously down with said runner.

BUT runner breaks. Now Arnkell has only a sword and a shield, and eventually he gets the chop.

38

Bad thing: Arnkell has no male relatives who could further the suit over his murder, so the suit is carried by women. Therefore it doesn't stand a good chance of success for legal reasons (my guess on the matter is that since a suit had to get a good backing of men and negotiating such bonds was not suitable for a high-born lady the backing force was less than hoped for)(lemme know if you know better than me though, this is just a theory), but the ladies still manage to get Þorleifur Kimbi outlawed so there's that.

Everyone loved Arnkell though so it's a bit of a disappointment that the murderers weren't punished better, so the law is changed so that women and men under the age of 16 are even allowed to be the suitors of a murder case.

I didn't quite see the logic there, let me know if anybody else did.

39

This is still bad news for Þorleifur Kimbi because now anyone is allowed to kill him without a punishment. Þorleifur has therefore not only left the building but the whole country.

There's a huge man called Arnbjörn who's the brother of a Björn (keep this guy in mind) that gets on the same ship with Þorleifur.

Þorleifur: "Gimme that kettle I need to make porridge for the men."

Arnbjörn: "No go, mine's not done yet."

Others: "LOL U ICELANDIC FUKER CANNOT GET A FUKKEN KETTLE"

Þorleifur: *throws Arnbjörn's porridge away*

Arnbjörn: *slaps him with a hot stirring spoon*

Þorleifur: "You just wait 'til I meet you in Iceland again. Youuuuu juuuuust waiiiiitttt...."



Part 9.