Eyrbyggja saga, part 5

21

Arnkell: "Ok there's two ways this thing can go: either we're going to court, in which case you'll better be prepared to pay a lot for the recent killings, or you leave the country."

Álfgeir: "I'm leaving."

Þórarinn: "Me too."

Vermundur: "Let us never be parted, bro!"



22

Snorri: "If you think that'll ever happen you got something wrong."

Snorri: "Also sister Þúríður you're to come home IMMEDIATELY your hubbsie Björn is in league with the guys who killed Þorbjörn."

Snorri: "Hi Arnkell you and your little friends are sued."

Snorri: "Also btw gonna burn some ships now." :D

Arnkell: "OH NOES! OH NOES! (Lel I'll just buy one more then shall I)

23

Autumn comes. A pack of horses is found dead on the mountains. Whooooooops they're Þorbjörn's horses, guess Þórarinn never stole them after all.

There's a Vigfús Björn's son who's a total asshole, according to history.

Sheep gathering happens. Snorri's shepherd Helgi is present.

Björn: "Did u try to steal my sheep."

Helgi: "Did u fraternize w horse thieves."

Björn: "PIKE TO THE CHEST"

Már (Snorri's uncle): "SWORD TO THE SHOULDER"

Vigfús: "...and that's what happened, now pay for my dad's arm almost being cut off."

Snorri: "Naaah I hear those are just flesh wounds. ANYWAY remember how my shepherd got a pike to the chest?"

Vigfús then goes ahead and sues Snorri, but it's a bad move to sue someone smarter than you and Vigfús loses.

24

There's a dude called Eiríkur rauði who by the way is a total asshole. He's being sued for murder - again. His friend Killing-Styr asks Snorri to turn a blind eye to any ships leaving the land and in exchange promises to help him out.

Anyway Eiríkur out, goes to find a new land, names it Greenland in hopes that it makes the place sound like an awesome place to move in to. This by the way is a historical fact.

25a

Vermundur and Þórarinn have meanwhile gone to Norway. He gets all buddy-buddy with earl Hákon and requests him to give him two berserkers of his.

Hákon: "R u sure they're both assholes and totally uncontrollable."

Vermundur: "I am sure my bro Styr is too strong for me to oppose on my own."

25b

The berserkers are Halli and Leiknir and they're Swedes.

Berserkers: "Hay waitaminnit we're not slaves?! Who says we can be given to some random icelandic farmer??!!"

No one currrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

25c

Halli: "Well fine, but I want a wife."

Vermundur: "You're shitting me right, who wants to marry a berserker? I'll answer you that one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE."

Halli doesn't like this and Vermundur is suddenly stuck with an angry Swedish berserker. He tries to do the smart thing iow give them both to his brother Styr as a present, but Styr is thankfully not stupid enough.

Styr: "Besides I know you were just trying to throw them on me cause you think they'd trouble me instead, but berserkers are always bad news so how about we get rid of them entirely."

Vermundur: "No you don't get it. PLEASE TAKE THEM OK."

Styr: *sigh* "Oh ok."

Berserkers: "We're still not slaves, the fuck u think u doin' u can't give free men away as presents, it's against human rights and -"

No one currrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.



Part 6.