11/9/13

Kormáks saga, part 5.

21.

Much legal muscle-flexing, much singing from Kormákur. Nothing really happens in this chapter, he just wanted to sing I guess. In the end it's decided that he and Þorvarður shall duel.



22 a.

Kormákur: "Mum I'm going to go fight Þorvarður."

Dalla: "Bad idea. He always has someone magic him invincible. How about you go to this witch lady I know and have a chat with her."

Kormákur: "IIIII'M not going to use some old hag's help!"

Kormákur: "Þórdís plz halp."

Þórdís tries to do a piece of magic that requires no one to see her.

Kormákur: *follows*

Kormákur: "Whatcha doin whatcha doin"

Þórdís: "CAN YOU NOT"

22 b.

This repeats three times until Þórdís' spell is finally rendered unworkable by Kormákur's idiocy.

Þórdís: "Look now you little shit I'm trying to break the spell that keeps you and Steingerður apart so that you could return together and be happy!"

Kormákur: "I DON'T BELIEVE IN MAGIC"

Kormákur: *finds out that Þorvarður DOES believe in magic and is therefore better prepared*

Kormákur: *throws a tantrum**with much singing*

Steingerður: "Ahem. I came to see the fight."

22 c.

Kormákur wins the fight! Kormákur goes to wipe his face in Steingerður's clothes! Not creepy!

Kormákur: "So you're now my girl right, and -"

Steingerður: "Guess again, bye."

Þorvarður heals slowly until someone tells him he just has to make a sacrifice to elves, and that the sacrifice has to be a bull that Kormákur has killed. He agrees to sell it to him for Steingerður's ring. Deal is done, Þorvarður heals immediately, whooops I wonder if someone should have told Steingerður what was going on before they took her ring...

23.

The guys duel again, Kormákur's win again! Other things to repeat: Þorvarður heals slowly, elves want some more beef, Steingerður loses another ring. Much singing.

24 a.

Kormákur decides to go to Norway, but before that he goes and kisses Steingerður twice. This costs him... dun dun duuunnn.... Steingerður's two rings! Well at least she got them back.

24 b.

Steingerður also wants to go to Norway. BUT! On the way there are suddenly VIKINGS! They want their goods and their Steingerður!

Worry not, Kormákur sails to rescue. Everybody gets to Norway safely except for the vikings.

Ok, do worry because the next time Kormákur sees Steingerður he kisses her FOUR times before people come to save her. The king of Norway decides that one kiss is ok cause he helped them get rid of the pesky vikings, another is ok cause he saved Steingerður from getting kidnapped, but of the remaining two he has to pay an ounce of gold each as fines.

You'd think he would learn from this but oh no, the next time he sees Steingerður he tries to force her to go with him. Even the king is close to losing his shit with Kormákur.

25.

The king sends men to war. Kormákur is the captain of one ship, Þorvaldur captains the other (and has Steingerður on board for some reason).

Kormákur: *sails close to Þorvaldur's ship*

Kormákur: "OAR TO THE HEAD"

Þorvaldur: *KO'd*

Steingerður: "YOU WHAT NOW"

Steingerður: *steers the ship on Kormákur's, capsizing him*

King: "Seriously?! Seriously?! Ok, I'll settle this one. How about no one gets any fines or revenge, Þorvaldur can stop crying about oars cause his wifey ran over Kormákur, and Kormákur can stop crying about the capsizing because he kind of asked for it."



Part 6.

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