Grettis saga, part 1.

1.

Önundur is a dude. Vikings. The Irish get attacked (it's always the Irish).



2.

Norway's ruled by Haraldur Mop-hair. This means trouble - for those of you who think his name sounds curiously similar to Haraldur Fairhair's it's the same dude before he learned to use a comb. No really. I'm dead serious here, it's the same guy.

Þórir Longchin: "Önundur halp."

Önundur: "Ok."

Þórir Longchin: "Btw I'm a berserker, lol Mr. Mop what you gonna do."

Haraldur Mop-hair: "Well, to begin with I have a whole fukken army of berserkers, what YOU gonna do?"

Þórir Longchin: "Argl."

Önundur gets his foot chopped off and because things suddenly look a bit damp for the whole group they leg it to Iceland as fast as possible. Or you know, sail. Same thing except on top of water.

3.

Family trees. They are everywhere oh my god.

Þrándur and Önundur who is now nicknamed "Treeleg" (because medieval people were not very discreet) go back to Ireland. I know right, it's always the Irish - no wait this time they just want to find this guy called Eyvindur who's Þrándur's brother. He's married to the daughter of the same Irish dude that Önundur attacked in the first chapter. Then they befriend an Ófeigur and a Þormóð.

Önundur: "Whhhhyyyyy did I have to lose a leg now I can no longer attack people properly."

Þrándur: "If it's challenges you want just go and marry Ófeigur's daughter Æsa."

4.

Vígbjóður and Vestmar are vikings and bad guys because they attack the Irish. Yesyesyes I know Önundur did the same but shhhh it's a secret, anyway now he's going to attack these two. Yesyesyes I know he's been crying about how he can't do that without his foot but shhhh if a man wants to hack a viking a man is free to try.

Vígbjóður & Vestmar: "LOL CRIPPLE"

Önundur tips a load of rocks on them for the hell of it and then gleefully chops Vígbjóður to pieces and recites him a poem about how useless he now is while he's dying. Touchy lad, that Önundur.

5.

Eyvindur: "So I hear you attacked my father in law, how many more legs you'd like to lose?"

Þrándur: "SHHHHHHDON'TMENTIONTHEFOOT aw come on it was just a few raids anyway, surely you're not going to hold that against him."



Part 2.