5/21/14

Eiríks saga rauða, part 2.

4a

Times are not much easier in Greenland: what you know there's very little to eat there.

Now we've got a völva - an Icelandic prophetess names Þorbjörg. Þorkell's worried about the lack of food so he calls her over so she can tell him straight away something on the lines of should he stay or should he go.

Þorbjörg arrives and is swagsome. Everybody swoon.

Þorbjörg is given a high seat and lots of hearts to eat. I'm not even shitting you. Also milk.



4b

Þorkell: "So, hm, how's the next year look like?"

Þorbjörg: "I'll tell you tomorrow."

4c

Þorbjörg: "I'll now start looking at the future. First though I need some woman to sing me Varðlokur before I can begin."

Guðríð: "Uh... I COULD but problem is that I'm no stinky heathen so I won't."

Þorbjörg: "You know heathenry is not catchy? You also know everyone might live or die depending on whether or not you'll sing one song right?"

Þorkell: "Shut the fuck up and sing."

Guðríð: "Well FINE. Gosh how touchy you guys are."

4d

Guðríð sings the song so well that there's loads of spirits suddenly gathered around the place.

Þorbjörg: "Nicely done, the famine's apparently soon over and the illnesses will disappear too. As for Guðríð she'll marry an ok lad and will drop lotsa babies here and there. She'll also leave the country and idk she'll go places."

Þorbjörn then leaves for the next house so that Þorbjörn, who has been sulking elsewhere because he's too Christian, can come back home. The völva's prophesies all happen exactly as she said and in the end Þorbjörn continues his way to Eiríkur's place.

5a

Eiríkur has two sons, Þorsteinn and... dun dun duuunnn... Leifur! Hope it wasn't a spoiler.

Leifur goes to serve a Norwegian king Ólafur Tryggvason, yadda yadda falls for a Þórgunna at some point. Þórgunna wants him to take her with him.

Leifur: "Uh... no, sry."

Þórgunna: "I'm pregs you know. Ok then once the kid's big enough I'll just ship him off to you to Greenland."

5b

King Ólafur: "Going back to Greenland eh?"

Leifur: "Yeah."

King Ólafur: "Convert them to Christianity for me ok?"

King Ólafur: "That was a command by the way."

5c

Leifur steers for Greenland but misses, ends up in a weird place with lots of huge trees etc. On the way back he saves some peeps from being shipwrecked and is from that moment on called Leifur the Lucky, although the real lucky ones were probably the shipwrecked.

5d

Back in Greenland!

Leifur: "Christianity, anyone?"

Eiríkur: "Can I tell you where to shov-"

Þjóðhildur, Eiríkur's wife: "YES PLEASE."

Eiríkur: "Suit yourself but I'm not gonna become Christian."

Þjóðhildur: "Well I'm not gonna boink a heathen. Your choice."

End result - a very bad-tempered heathen husband and a church-building Christian wife.

5e

But what about this new land that Leifur found? People are massively curious and in the end the decision is made to go have a look at it. I mean what could go wrong?

Eiríkur's asked to join the group. he hides his money first and then in on his way when -

Eiríkur: *falls off a horse*

Eiríkur: *hurts his shoulder and breaks his ribs*

Eiríkur: "Ai-ai." (Literal quote from the saga.)

5f

Eiríkur: "That must have happened cause I tried to hide my moneys from the wifey. Better let her know where I hid them."

The journey begins. Problem is that no one's exactly sure which way to go so they bumble around Iceland and Ireland a bit and a long sea journey after they return to where they started.

Er. I promise it gets better.



Part 3.

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