1.
Ólafur the White is a king and he has a father who had a father who had a father who had a father who had a father. I counted.
Ólafur beats up the Dubliners and marries Auður Deep-minded. Whoa that lady pops up in every single saga, but then again she was important enough that once when she dropped a comb she had a whole nes named after it.
Anyway they make a baby Þorsteinn the Red and then Ólafur dies because the Irish don't let you beat them up indefinitely. Auður and Þorsteinn run for it, on the way Þorsteinn marries a Þuríður and they make a gazillion babies.
Then Þorsteinn takes over Scotland and when he's done with that the Scots hack him to pieces and absolutely no one is surprised. Auður makes a successful escape again and ends up in Iceland, you know the story.
There's a guy called Vífill that's a slave of Auður's but she sets him free and gives him lands. Remember this dude's sons Þorgeir and Þornjörn!
2a.
Dude is a Þorvaldur. Dudesome dude. His son's name is Eiríkur the Red and they're currently living in Iceland because of some unfortunate murdering that happened in Norway made them outlawed.
Tragic fate.
Þorvaldur dies, so much about him, Eiríkur marries a Þjóðhildur whose mother was the famous Þorbjörg Boobs-Like-a-Knarr. Check what a knarr's bottom looks like I dare you, this woman's jugs must have been legendary.
More unfortunate murdering happens on Eiríkur's part who just cannot keep it in shit sheath. Whoops banished. He runs around a bit fighting more people but surprisingly this doesn't help his cause, and the Þórssnes þing double-outlaws him.
2b.
Luckily Eiríkur remembers that a Gunnbjörn dude once accidentally found a new land somewhere north-east of Iceland. He sails out from Snæfellsnes and lo! and behold! he finds an icy country. He goes around naming places that, for some reason, are all called Eiríks-somethings, poor imagination that man.
After three years of this he goes back to Iceland, fights a dude and loses and they become friends. After that he decides to go back to the country he found and calls it Greenland because "men will desire much the more to go there if the land has a good name."
(I know what you're thinking but the guy who named Iceland was really pissed off after a particularly bad weather. Give him some slack.)
3a.
So remember those Þorgeri and Þorbjörn? They marry two sisters and Þorbjörn in particular becomes rich. One of his children is Guðríður and she's the babesomest babe to ever babe. Her foster father is called Ormur.
Then there's an Einar who's a dandy. He's Ormur's friend and visits him one day. SUDDENLY! Guðríður passes by!
Einar: "Holy wow man who's that?"
Ormur: "Oh Guðríður? Don't get your hopes up, she and her dad both know she can marry p much anyone so technically speaking don't bother unless you're totally awesome."
Einar: "Blah blah. I want to marry her anyway. Þorbjörn's wealth's on the decrease and I'm rich. Go ask that Þorbjörn if -"
Ormur: "NO."
3b.
Ormur: "...so that's how things are. He just wanted to make his wishes known, no demands or anyt-"
Þorbjörn: "WTF MAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND"
Þorbjörn: "YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'D LET MY DAUGHTER MARRY A GUY WHOSE PARENT WAS A SLAVE"
Þorbjörn: "WHO WOULD DO THAT"
(Answer: Egill Skalla-Grímsson.)
3c.
Þorbjörn: "YOU THINK MY DAUGHTER'S HIS LEVEL, WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOSTER HER ANY LONGER"
Þorbjörn: "SHE'S COMING HOME RIGHT NOW"
Þorbjörn: "But that little shit is right in that I'm losing my lands, which means that either I'm going to lose my honour or go to that Greenland-place Eiríkur was talking about."
3d.
The travel is rough and takes months because the winds aren't favourable. Plus half the crew dies of fever. Look, dude, sometimes marrying your daughter to a slave-born might be an ok idea. I mean look at that Ólafur Peacock (but not for too long because his sex appeal is on level 9000), his mum was a slave and everyone was too busy swooning at him to care.
In the end they do find Greenland and a guy called Þorkell, who agrees to take them all in.
Part 2.
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